Friday, December 29, 2006

Oh, Rollins

The above pic. is just an idea I've been throwing around. I can't believe I post some of this stuff on here. Mainly due to its half-ass-ness, and the other is that it basically cements a person's skill level on a monitor screen (that's a LIE). YIKES, which is scary.

And the second pic. makes me wish that Henry Rollins was my older brother or at least a gym teacher/soccer coach of mine. But whatev, he probably gets that all the time but that doesn't stop me from loving this big old yelling teddy bear of swear words.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

20,000 t-rex's couldn't agree more

I'm still sick but I'm getting better the pace of snail. Despite it, this Christmas was nice.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Can't this wait until next year?

ugh, my first day to sleep in, in a very long time and I only sleep till 9:45am??? Oh that's right last night was spent dreaming bizarro stuff, blowing my nose on a t-shirt near by (gross, had a realized I was doing this I would have stopped but I am heavily medicated and not awake at 3am) and banging my head against the head board (accidently). And by headboard I mean tasteless metal futon couch arm. I HATE Futons. I use to have a waterbed. I hate those too.

My Mom actually forced me to buy a bed in highschool when my waterbed started to stink and I threw it out without anyone knowing. I think I went an entire month bedless and probably still wouldn't have had a bed had my Mom said, "your not going anywhere until we get you a bed". Real cool, I know.

I hope by tomorrow I am a normal functioning member of society. I haven't been this sick in a while. Damn you, Lauren. I'm supposed to finish my Christmas shopping today. But I have no idea if I have the will to set foot behind a vehicle. And I've always wondered something, can a dog catch a human cold?? I was worried I would get Danny sick but as he plumped himself on the couch with me. He just wouldn't move.

Oh, and the movie Roadhouse, is probably the single trashiest movie I chose to set eyes on. I'm watching this with my Dad (unwillingly, I might add) and as soon as one of the "loyal" bouncers get caught in the closet with another woman. I AM OUT OF HERE. I seriously got up and left. I always forget that movies from the 70's and 80's have a much raunchier taste. Caddyshack anyone?

Anyway, being this sick sucks.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

In light of television...

Okay, I know I promised originals but lets face it folks who has time when you work 40+ hours a week. I do have a bunch of stuff I could post but I would like to work on some new stuff. So in that regard in the near future expect some t-rex's playing guitars, a drugged up Adrien Grenier, and maybe some c-c-crazy elephants. I may just scratch all of those and come up with something else. Anyway, Pigman is sitting in front of the tv working on his senior thesis. It's suiting to my current state because I've been stay in bed sick the last few days but have had to come into work, and then when I'm done I zonk out in front of the TV like PM . For those left in the dark about Pigman let me bring you up to speed. A little back story on Pigman ( Jody Racicot) was at the time he had only appeared in a film called TekWar: TekLab and for PCU he walked in as extra because he was living in Canada. They referred to him as one of those non-actor actors. And I believe on his t-shirt he has tiny manual lawn mowers which cracks me up everytime I look at it. And as he's watching the tv (almost the entire movie) if you've ever wondered why they don't show blips from the Hackman/Caine movies? It's because that damned Gene Hackman thought they were making a mockery of his acting career?!? Psh, actors and there gigantic egos.

Anyway, New Years is coming up and I've been conjuring up a playlist and for some reason I always think of The Specials during the winter. A good New Years song would be Enjoy yourself (it's later than you think) and little bitch as far pre midnight and then maybe Friday night, Saturday morning post midnight. I can't really think of a logical reason as to why I pick The Specials during winter other than its routy crowded room party music. Anyway, I'll come up with a something better come closer to the end of the month. Maybe, Parliament is better?

edit*** I'm far too lazy to fix the typos, run on sentences and likes of any error. DEAL WITH IT.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Majestic Hot Pants

My dog thinks he's king shit but whatever he's allowed to hog my computer for sheer cuteness alone. I read up on 'Osama' the allegid killer elephant. I'm sure I'm too late to reiterate the deatails by now everyone has heard the news. If anyone has been left in the dark and is still curious google killer elephant and you will find more than enough coverage. I'm extremely tired and I think the linking on this site is obtuse. My html writing from scratch never surpasses the publish post anyway. BLAST. And speaking of that word, "majestic hot pants" are a BLAST. Well, you could only imagine. I actually have no fucking (my fruit roll up tab is thickening) clue is to what it's really about. I found this written on a sheet of computer paper next to my keyboard. I have a profuse tendency to jot down stuff I read and hear that I feel will suit my humor for a later date . It never makes sense after. Unless its truely recognizable and most of the time I wouldn't have to write that down. The soul purpose of the jot down as you all know isthat you won't forget. Moving on, I'm ridiculously worn out from plugging away with all things school/work related. I would like to spend this year traveling, and doing something truely motivational. Maybe, I'll move to Charleston and cut lawns for a living. And then quite cutting lawns because it sucks and start a two piece band. Sound familiar? Wait a second I'm not from Ohio? And I don't have "a friend in Akron, who used the term "black keys" to describe things he disliked or people he did not trust". THE BLACK KEYS!!! AHHHH!! The Black Keys and their triumpant start-up will always amaze me. Anyway, I'm actually proud of how I've been going about things. For example, I'm asked to work over-over time because we're short staffed for the holidays. And for the 17th time people have "claimed" to be sick or in a car accident. How many cars do these people own? They could be telling the truth this in turn makes me a jerkasaurus. But if its not that, its some other redonk horse shit of a reason not to come in. And while I feel a tad bad for saying no, I can't force myself to work 50 hours a week breaking my batoot over unecessary endevors. I guess Wwhat's really changed here is that I can say no, and not feel bad. I can also say that its wildly stupid to have people come in and help out on the wrong days. And it's not just work either, people tend to take advantage of the do gooders (not referring to myself) of the world. And I hate that. People can be self-absorbed, especially that person in the couple who makes you do all the work. Oh, God do I loath these people. BTW, despite that people are crazed andI'm ridiculously relieved to exercise the funness in saying no to things. This means that I am literally a better person. And figuratively speaking I am not all wound up like a packaged party favor ready to be used a t therelaxation of others. Anyway, it's important to remember your not an asshole for not being 110% available. JUST SAY NO it's awesome, trust me. Again people are deserving of good things.

ps- Osama was immune to firecrackers??? Dear God, that is terrifying.

pps-Elephants being shot is absolutely the least funny thing to me along with several dying. And I don't think it's a laughing matter whatsoever but I will admit and take the fall for chuckling at thought of an elephant refusing a firecracker.

Sunday, December 17, 2006


I'm convinced that half of my friends forget what I look like. Lately, I've been too busy to hang out. So in that respect, I give you tangible proof that I am indeed alive and well. My friend Lauren (shown on your left) sent me this pic. from this Friday. Oddly, I didn't immediately want to rip it to shreds. Did I mention I hate having my photo taken? Most importantly all photos aside, I urge everyone to hang out with me in due time. But for now this lame-o post will have to do.

ps- stay tuned for a Killer Elephant update.

Sarcasm and the Killer Elephant

Or some chubby kid in a jumper will (whose had waaay too much kool-aid and will also kick you in your damned shins).

PS- Apparantly they've just reported a killer Elephant who has been put to sleep. What's the deal?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Michael Scott Gets Dumped.

The lines drawn on this are a tad off and the fact that Conan only has one ear or that his hand is under developed should go with out saying that it pisses me off entirely waaay, way to much at the moment. B-b-but here's the juice I don't give a rooty-tootskins about fixing it.

That's right I typed rooty-tootskins. I promised you allorginals, damnit. For some unknowing reason I insist upon mentally linking the tiny gold spinning Rumpelstiltskins with other words. Maybe because rumpel is a hard word to resist but can rarely if ever be used in every day conversation. And for some reason I always, always rememeber the conversation Adam Sandler has in Big Daddy (which I sort of hated) with the little boy on the playground about alcohol. Adam questions rum and the little boy responds "Rum WHO? Rumpelstiltskins?!" I get that line stuck in my head about 3 times a week. And I haven't seen that movie in a couople of years.

The Office is on tonight for 1 wholesweet hour of justice. I am excited, aren't you? Aside from that excitement on an entirely different note I've been thinking about how I loath Coach purses. Maybe that's because they are over priced and absolutely made for filthy rich woman (whom spend the majority of days lunching and shopping). Just recently I complemented a woman on her purse she said, "who do you think its by?" I peer in alittle closer and I see lambs. Obviously. it was from Gewn Stefani's L.A.M.B collection. A collection that I never liked. But this was an exception and I felt it deserved an applaud for whatever reason. Without asking further (I no longer careat this point) nor feel the need the details about it . She blurts otit was only $550. Wha? Oh, thats not bad, right? Fuck that (thats one more fruit roll up I owe, everyone). And good god dropping that kind of cash on something entirely unecessary. I was actually embaressed (for her) when she told me that. I understand spending a lot of money on items serving a purpose or even its absolutely pointless and for shear entertainment. But its under the circumstances that you've worked hard and would use and cherish these itmes until they're holy unrecognizable shards of matter. I am the first to encourage this. My CD collection unecessary as it is gets larger every week. I get it people enjoy "things".

What I cannot understand is a constant need to flaunt wealth. If you've noticedhow clothing companies recreate wardrobes to give us the illusion that we're all just a bunch of bored millionares (ie. gigantic sunglasses, designers jeans with stilletos). Rudi Gernreich was the first to use designer jeans in the 50's and 60's but it was consirdered revolutionary to create futuristic and some what over top wealthy pieces. 4-5 Decades later it is now a staple of youths wardrobes and 11 year olds are tugging at Mom purse straps to buy them $150 jeans?? But before I go off a rant about spoiled kids and the idoot parents that recycle this (back to purses) I'm pretty damn sick of people sporting Coach purses and the likes of. They cost more than some people's rent. They're ugly and people need to reconsider what is says about them. That is of course they're retardedly insecure. I apologize to anyone that I like, who may already own one of these purse. You're probably good people (kidding).

The Office is on and I've been editing in between comercials. I must go!

ps- I have full intentions of posting something better than a conversation I had with myself about purses today. It's just I've seen an overwhelming amount of young and old championing these monstrosities.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Top Qualified

ps- My apologies for being snarky and my repeated use of the word fuck. I promise I will drop the work rants from now on.

I owe you all a fruit snack.

Money is a joyless skid mark

Am I right folks? I dare hear somebody refuse this because skid marks are ungodly especially around the Holidays. Oh, and money sucks too. Speaking of money, I have a mondo credit card bill to pay (which thankfully will be met but leaves me with a nickle to my name) and a cellphone bill. There are also some gigantic upgrades in my life that are sooner than later becoming a reality and funds for this trip I'm taking are still a tad foggy -as are pretty much everything else money related. Let's drop the details of my wusso money gripe because I could honestly give a rooty toot about alll things paper and green. I'm not complaining. I'm still quiting my job regardlesss of all the nay sayers: "FUCK THAT" is what I say. I know real mature Sarah. Cursing away the future is not a solution but neither is that job. I'm kidding, Let it be known that by no means am I saying that I think I am better than this job. Because it takes the patience of a saint and the organization of a Martha Stewart. And require a certain kind of talent and I tip my hat off to those doing the same thing. Wait but let me interject -what I meant to say that everyone should be fully capable of doing something they love if it were up to me everyone deserving would be working their dream jobs and not in cafes. Unless they wanted to work in cafes. Which in my case for about 2 years was where I wanted to be. Although the experience I had at the other store was absolutley by far my favorite job its a shame this one is not. Even if I wanted to stay, unfortunately it cannot afford bills that need to be paid. A day or two solo never killed anyone. If Indiana Jones could make due with a collapsing bridge cut by a pack of scantily clad loin-cloth, machete totin', heart eating cannibals it's probable that I'll live with out it. But back to skid marks, wait.... forget skid marks. But let's talk pants where skid marks hang out. All day I've been listening to Romanowski's Party In My Pants its about as jaunty as Tito Jackson's grin. And we all know Tito likes to smile. If anyone has time download Strudel Strut!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

2 things on my Thursday night agenda

-The Office

- Cecil B. Demented

PS. About 4 times this week I've heard the word tall mistaken for large. People, Tall drinks are not Large drinks. Although large drinks are rather tall they indeed are not titled tall (because that means small). These people probably go into cafes every week making the same mistake.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

A Chatou for Your Boredom

These are all very short sketches, that are mostly half-assed doodles. Nothing too snazzy, Most of them were done in front of the tv while I was watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang last night. A wildly entertaining movie when you have no idea what you're getting into. All of a sudden you're watching a villian get shot through Val Kilmers pants?? And then Val Kilmer says, "Homophobes never look down there." I'm thinking what the fuck is Val Kilmer doing with a tiny pistol in his crotchal region in the first place. I guess when its time to kill a homophobe. Oh well, I may never know.

Changing the subject again, but by now I hope everyone isn't thoroughly annoyed with my posting. I like the idea of a sketchblog. And here is a brief description -The top sketch is a duplicate of many other ideas out there. Which goes with out saying that it is a completly unorginal idea. I take no credit whatsoever -However, shape creatures are ridiculously enjoyable to sketch with a prisma marker. Everyone should buy these markers, they're about as fun as a bottle of tequila on a piping hot night in July! And yes, I've got tiny freckles on my nose above, the cartoon version is much sexier than in real life. I kid myself, but whatever I'm alright. And in the middle I threw in a Kyp Malone for everyone in need of some TVOTR regalement!

ps- I realize that posting sketches all of the time is self-indulgent and I promise I will not bore you with this daily.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

She is a Gap Model

ps. I meant to post this in the last blog,iit just wouldn't happen. Pssh, computers are always kick your shins stubborn. BTW what the hell does kick your shins stubborn even mean?

Was it worth it, temp?

I promise one of these days I will have my own website. It's probably a good thing I don't currently because I'd wind up posting 86% of my belongings for auction. A Get Smart lunchbox anyone? Or maybe a Mary Katherine Gallager action figure? I haven't had much time to learn how to start a real website discluding those easy to do geo-cities sites. Although, they look about as classy as a decorated palmtree in your living room. I've been saying to myself get to it stumblebum, get-to-it for about 4 years running. It's been a long time and it is about time to start working on some projects worthwhile.

Speaking of projects. Do you ever have these days of total exhaustion and you know that what you're doing is not meant or even healthy for your existence? Money isn't tied into this equation either. Maybe people always want more but for whatever reason as they grow older they become unhappy. I've spent a good deal of my life asking questions and doubting my abilities. Well, ladies and gents that has all ended for several reasons. I'm graduating college this December and although I did it assbackwards and went through absolute hell and back -I've come to realize something, I am going to spend my life doing something that I care about it. I didn't intend on getting so introspective today but goddamnit, some people I've had to put up with lately are so unbelivebly miserable they just suck the joy right out any possible fun at work.

Anyway, 2006 may have been a busy and somewhat unfun year (not entirely it had its ridiculously fun times) although 2007 will be of epic proportions...

starting with a little trip I like to call away from PA.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

D-d-don't go where?

I am trying to post an orginal piece of artwork regularly. BORING! Did I hear you say? Well, then fuck you. You've just been taken to high camp and I am the annoying mean driver. BTW high camp is where we all laugh and throw hot steaming hunks of poo each other. No, no seriously I don't even know what I just said and whatev, it was all in good fun. Posting new stuff is going to be a gigantic cup to fill with my final-final coming up (oooh! thats ridiculous) and as Mr. Rollins would nicely put it , "i'm going to be stretching it reaaal f' n thin" and then with out hesitation a roar of manical laughter can be heard by the angry little man wearing the oh-so peculiar undersized gym shorts. HR is ca-ca-crazy and also a child of the 60's which explains his length of shorts or lack thereof shorts.

Here's a piece I like to call my closing controversial statements of the weekend (with no further explanation). And they are....

-95% of people ordering drinks in cafe's today have a I've just been violated by a pack of horny bears look on their face before they order.

-People who stop and then turn in the middle of the highway for no good reason are indeed retarded.

-Sometimes when people call at 2:45am and I am asleep I will not be angry. I will just repeat two times before I hang up - I don't even know why I picked up the phone, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PICKED UP THE PHONE -click.

Byebye folks.


you unfunny jackass

Friday, December 01, 2006

It is..

70 degrees oustide, something tells me that this is wrong?