Making Friends?

I was touched to find this when I googled the phrase "making friends". No, no seriously are you not?

A couple of things to mention.

1- I'm convinced that this blog is a total waste of my time. Let's face it, I had my fame on Myspace. I am now a hasbeen on this site. However, this does not mean I find other peoples blogs a total waste of time to read (with the exception of many).

2- The process of buying a car sucks. I say to myself do I even want to do this? If so I've also opted to upgrade myself with a nicer car (If I attempt to buy one in tiny increments that is). My logic behind this is so that it won't break down or be a waste of my money when in a few years. That being said, do I really care about this shit. When I was 20 none of this mattered. I adored my tattered shitty ride that people referred to as the white stallion. FUCK CARS.

3- I'm probably going to stop writing on here, and focus on another creative outlet. Which probably means I'll just write sometimes.

4- If people are severely bored. I recommend picking up a book. I am just about to finish Chuck Klosterman's latest book that I put off reading since August. It is a lot like SD&CP due to its content. I've also just received my new book in the mail Love is a Mix Tape. Which may or may not be good. Eitherway it is an extremely emo sounding title.

crab apple

s,jng,djm.

I probably spend an hour staring at this pretty much everyday.

Late Nights, tardo moments, & inconvenience

In lieu of my atrocious mood yesterday my friend demanded that I come to the city. Also that she would pick me up with a garuntee of fun.

Expectedly I say no to this. I'm convinced that drag assing around the city with a group of her friends that for some reason I never quite clicked with is probably the last thing I'd like to do, It's probably my least favorite kind of hanging out. Mainly, I loath driving to the city. I predictably lose items (wallets, keys, pretty much anything important)at the most inopportune moments. The arbitrary parking laws give me tickets, or get me towed. I decided to let her pick me anyway since she was seeing family in Media. I figured it might cheer me up.

She had convinced me to go to destroy your liver night which is an open bar night at the Khyber. The title alone sounds like an awful idea (and I would most likely say no to occasion on pretty much any night of the week) but I kept an open mind. She was nice enough to cheer me up and was willing to drive and I know she thinks I hate having fun. But here's the thing these bars or places like this were never my thing. I can't say that I've ever been into this. Predictably, the bar was packed with sweaty hipsters, and ear shredding (shitty)music, like I had expected. No surprises. I think half the crowd was underage too which annoyed me because there was a disgusting amount of drinking going on.

However, It had been a long time since I had a fun night of drinking and I decided to ignore all of my normal hang ups about these kinds of places. And to my surprise I had met too very wonderful accaintances that lived in Virginia. I convinced them to dance on the slipperly floors and everyone eventually joined. Air kicks insued, and I kept saying to the Virginians "I don't know about this" and with the shrug of a shoulder they said "neither do I". This was then followed up by an unspoken look of "but fuck it anyway". Which made this a fun night. I'm normally a reserved/inhibited individual and as everyone knows I am not some dance party connoisseur who makes a living of this. I'd much rather prefer a quieter bar, with great friends. But every now and then a sudden overwhelming shard of confidence comes over me. With no hesitation I start dancing, or impulsively talking. I believe it is when I feel retardedly anxious or bored (Alcohol is not to blame). It's a nervous tick if anything. People bite their finger nails I just get overwhelmingly enthusiastic. Plus, I figured it is better to join everyone else's good time rather than standing still against the wall looking pissed off (I've also done that many of times but why go?).

Thankfully, I didn't get too drunk. Although some people threw up in the street and again in the sink when we went back home. I was glad to help, and happy that I stuck to beer. I did however wake up with this unspeakable, shooting pain in my upper spine and lower arm. At first I thought it was the rock hard futon I slept on but shortly following this memories of the mondo spill that had occured on the dance floor had appeared. Effortlessly i managed to pull this suave move off with no warning. When you're drinking no amount of talking can convince other people that you're not sloppy fall down drunk. Due to this tardo moment, in a tardo place not a word of explanation comes out even though it was highly noticable. We left shortly after, anyway. I will confidently say I am one clumsy sasquatch in motion anytime of day (booze, no booze)and if you've ever hung out with me, you know this.

Back to driving in the city and how a person without a car should be free of any traffic violations?? This is completly false once you get into your another vehicle. While running some errands for my friend, in her car while she primped for some dreamboat to show up. A rather snarky cop gave me a $116 ticket for not yielding to the right of way at an intersection. Even though opposing traffic had blinked their high beams for me to go in front of them and stood still. Naturally, a vehicle should never stop in the middle of the intersection if its obvious the cars are staying put. To top that off, I lost the keys before she drove me to the train station. We found them. THANK GOD.


So much for savings and I declare that I will not be driving to the city of Philadelphia for all of 2007.

un-awesome

alright, I meant to draw lions but I could only find a book on bears at the bookstore. Talk about some shit. I'm feeling a tad down today. I think it's the shitty ass winter. I left the bookstore forgetting what time it was. As I realized this I came up with a short list. It pertains to my long visit and the feeling that a person stayed too too long in a Barnes & Noble (GASP!)don't worry I buy almost everything off of Amazon's new, used section..


1. People will use the bathroom more than once (my case twice).

2. The weather has changed significantly upon departure. It may be raining heavily, or much colder than you remember.

3. The people on their shift have left and gone long ago.

4. You've managed to memorize the photography and artbook section. There is no further need to browse because it's mentally stored.

5. You've read all the music magazine of the month/season.

6. When ordering your usual cafe drink a slight disorienting sensation may occur. This involves forgetting the name of your drink or bumping into shelves by the condiment bar. Usually this is caused by weirdlighting. And momentarily this will not seem odd or embarrassing.

7. You're convinced that everyone in the store has seen you do a lap at least 5 times.

8. You have not a clue as to where you parked.



ah sheebaa, shabby it's time for me to stew in my personal aggravated state. I just can't help that cold weather, and boredom cause this. BAH, whatev.

People will eventually love me again when I am awesome.

They've got fakinsons

yuck, my throat feels about as nasty as a swarm of fire ants feasting on a mound of crickets. I just watched a special on swarms, and fire ants reportedly kill 80 people a year. These over zealous nudges bite and inject a toxic alkaloid venom into people's skin which causes a "burning" or fire sensation. The bites marks look AWFUL. I've never quite felt this before... but I suddenly have the urge to step on an ant mound.

Is it obvious that I spent my night in watching TV?

Can you believe the things that you tell yourself?

I sure can. For instance, when I tell myself Diet Pepsi is probably the last thing I should be drinking at 1am. I sure as fuck believe that. Ah, it's a new year and I can shrug it off by blurting out loud (at the computer); WHY NOT FOR FUCK SAKE!?

Originally I had an entirely different post. In fact it's cooling its jets in the draft natatorium as we speak (the we speaking meaning myself talking to the monitior or whoever the hell is reading this). It was rather melancoly and I decided to change my tune real quick once I realized that while constructing a mini melt down on screen is at best an intriguing read but is anything but for me a day or two later when I reread it. In fact, that kind of stuff embaresses the fuck out of me for whatever reason.

Maybe it was those damned Cat Power articles I've been reading on Chan Marshalls alleviation from touring/drinking/cocaine that of course directly lead to her early 2006 fit of suicidal depression (check out venusmag, magnet etc.) that made me want to talk about my gripes. I'll save the gripes for another day. Normally these kind of articles have no direct affect on my life. I may read an article on a famous person and could give a crap because while they are suffering so are a million others including people I know. More importantly the article made me feel better about feeling down in the past. Does that make sense? I guess there's something comforting when you hear about a person putting there cell-phone on silent for an entire year.

Moving away from Cat Power and onto my hostility toword NASCAR advertisements. I just saw an article for Tony Stewart anda picture of him next to his car (when I went to check my yahoo mail account). What is the deal with NASCAR drivers posing in front of their cars and always having this seriousely aggravated look of constipation spread upon their faces. What're they concentrating so hard on? It's not like they're lifting weights and it hurts to smile. I could understand this stance if they decided to tie their nards to the tires of their cars and race down the track with the will of their running feet. Talk about crotch rash. Anyway these sort of poses pretty much ruin any capability of looking anywhere near cool. And yes I wrote cool. Other than this actively annoying me at the moment it's pretty much all of the steam I have left for that train of thought.


BTW NASCAR suuuuucks.

PS- it going on 2:06am my timer on this thing says 12:55am.