un-awesome

alright, I meant to draw lions but I could only find a book on bears at the bookstore. Talk about some shit. I'm feeling a tad down today. I think it's the shitty ass winter. I left the bookstore forgetting what time it was. As I realized this I came up with a short list. It pertains to my long visit and the feeling that a person stayed too too long in a Barnes & Noble (GASP!)don't worry I buy almost everything off of Amazon's new, used section..


1. People will use the bathroom more than once (my case twice).

2. The weather has changed significantly upon departure. It may be raining heavily, or much colder than you remember.

3. The people on their shift have left and gone long ago.

4. You've managed to memorize the photography and artbook section. There is no further need to browse because it's mentally stored.

5. You've read all the music magazine of the month/season.

6. When ordering your usual cafe drink a slight disorienting sensation may occur. This involves forgetting the name of your drink or bumping into shelves by the condiment bar. Usually this is caused by weirdlighting. And momentarily this will not seem odd or embarrassing.

7. You're convinced that everyone in the store has seen you do a lap at least 5 times.

8. You have not a clue as to where you parked.



ah sheebaa, shabby it's time for me to stew in my personal aggravated state. I just can't help that cold weather, and boredom cause this. BAH, whatev.

People will eventually love me again when I am awesome.

They've got fakinsons

yuck, my throat feels about as nasty as a swarm of fire ants feasting on a mound of crickets. I just watched a special on swarms, and fire ants reportedly kill 80 people a year. These over zealous nudges bite and inject a toxic alkaloid venom into people's skin which causes a "burning" or fire sensation. The bites marks look AWFUL. I've never quite felt this before... but I suddenly have the urge to step on an ant mound.

Is it obvious that I spent my night in watching TV?

Can you believe the things that you tell yourself?

I sure can. For instance, when I tell myself Diet Pepsi is probably the last thing I should be drinking at 1am. I sure as fuck believe that. Ah, it's a new year and I can shrug it off by blurting out loud (at the computer); WHY NOT FOR FUCK SAKE!?

Originally I had an entirely different post. In fact it's cooling its jets in the draft natatorium as we speak (the we speaking meaning myself talking to the monitior or whoever the hell is reading this). It was rather melancoly and I decided to change my tune real quick once I realized that while constructing a mini melt down on screen is at best an intriguing read but is anything but for me a day or two later when I reread it. In fact, that kind of stuff embaresses the fuck out of me for whatever reason.

Maybe it was those damned Cat Power articles I've been reading on Chan Marshalls alleviation from touring/drinking/cocaine that of course directly lead to her early 2006 fit of suicidal depression (check out venusmag, magnet etc.) that made me want to talk about my gripes. I'll save the gripes for another day. Normally these kind of articles have no direct affect on my life. I may read an article on a famous person and could give a crap because while they are suffering so are a million others including people I know. More importantly the article made me feel better about feeling down in the past. Does that make sense? I guess there's something comforting when you hear about a person putting there cell-phone on silent for an entire year.

Moving away from Cat Power and onto my hostility toword NASCAR advertisements. I just saw an article for Tony Stewart anda picture of him next to his car (when I went to check my yahoo mail account). What is the deal with NASCAR drivers posing in front of their cars and always having this seriousely aggravated look of constipation spread upon their faces. What're they concentrating so hard on? It's not like they're lifting weights and it hurts to smile. I could understand this stance if they decided to tie their nards to the tires of their cars and race down the track with the will of their running feet. Talk about crotch rash. Anyway these sort of poses pretty much ruin any capability of looking anywhere near cool. And yes I wrote cool. Other than this actively annoying me at the moment it's pretty much all of the steam I have left for that train of thought.


BTW NASCAR suuuuucks.

PS- it going on 2:06am my timer on this thing says 12:55am.